Podzedarp Gankammip is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, generous fairy.

Podzedarp Gankammip created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Podzedarp Gankammip, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Podzedarp Gankammip, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Podzedarp Gankammip's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Podzedarp Gankammip's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green jumpers.

2. Never hurt capybaras.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not commit murder.