Bagarplim is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, blissful dugong.

Bagarplim created the Whirlpool Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagarplim, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bagarplim, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bagarplim's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Bagarplim's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not speak about onions.