Bastjabrull Stignan is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unselfish centaur.

Bastjabrull Stignan created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastjabrull Stignan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bastjabrull Stignan, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bastjabrull Stignan's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Bastjabrull Stignan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bastjabrull Stignan.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bastjabrull Stignan.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never feed oranges to dogs while wearing black shorts.