Zimvadyik is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unsympathetic gnu.

Zimvadyik created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimvadyik, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zimvadyik, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zimvadyik's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Zimvadyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

3. Always help sheep in need.

4. Do not kill birds.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.