Dagquafvid is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, merciless dragon.

Dagquafvid created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dagquafvid, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dagquafvid, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Dagquafvid's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Dagquafvid's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Dagquafvid on top of all buildings.

2. Do not hurt moths.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Worship no other gods but Dagquafvid.