Dogmetfun is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omnipotent rat.

Dogmetfun created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dogmetfun, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dogmetfun, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dogmetfun's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Dogmetfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Never mention sharks.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dogmetfun.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Dogmetfun must be the most important thing in your life.