Kophiglarn is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, confident badger.

Kophiglarn created matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kophiglarn, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kophiglarn, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kophiglarn's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Kophiglarn's Holy Commandments

1. Put Kophiglarn first in all things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kophiglarn.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. You must never eat spinach.