Fomkip is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, omnipotent fly.

Fomkip created the world seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fomkip, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fomkip, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fomkip's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fomkip's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat shrews with great respect.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always help ducks in need.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Do not eat coconuts.