Lanlig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, temperamental troll.

Lanlig created energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanlig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lanlig, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Lanlig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Lanlig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Lanlig on top of all buildings.

2. Do not kill tapirs.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Do not covet oxen.