Bamtimwat is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, unselfish finch.

Bamtimwat created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Bamtimwat, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bamtimwat, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bamtimwat's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Bamtimwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Bamtimwat on top of all buildings.

3. Never think ill of sick badgers.

4. Put Bamtimwat first in all things.

5. You must love Bamtimwat.