Pityimgig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, quiet crab.

Pityimgig created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pityimgig, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pityimgig, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Pityimgig's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Pityimgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green rings.

2. Never paint your arms cyan.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.
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