Yoglabdabbap is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, contented lizard.

Yoglabdabbap created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yoglabdabbap, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yoglabdabbap, he will try to impress you with trees.

Yoglabdabbap's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Yoglabdabbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always help sick eagles.

3. Do not hurt snakes.

4. Do not wear iron on your body.

5. Run away from cyan tapirs, for they are unholy.