Flabquamved is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, conceited dugong.

Flabquamved created the Sun nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabquamved, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flabquamved, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Flabquamved's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Flabquamved's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Hide from red badgers for they are unholy.

5. Do not listen to music.