Nurlkimpom is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, duplicitous wolf.

Nurlkimpom created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlkimpom, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nurlkimpom, it will come to you in dreams.

Nurlkimpom's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Nurlkimpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green hats.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never hurt swans.