Larnmobcap is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, blissful toad.

Larnmobcap created an atom two billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnmobcap, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Larnmobcap, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Larnmobcap's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Larnmobcap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help otters.

2. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never write about comets.