Ranliknak is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, merciless duck.

Ranliknak created silver six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ranliknak, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ranliknak, he will ignore you.

Ranliknak's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Ranliknak's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Never eat strawberries.

3. Do not speak about turnips.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.