Dagdumtof is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-powerful deer.

Dagdumtof created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagdumtof, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dagdumtof, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dagdumtof's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Dagdumtof's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured goats.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dagdumtof.

5. Never talk about pigs.