Fittarcab is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, pitiless armadillo.

Fittarcab created bats four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fittarcab, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fittarcab, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fittarcab's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Fittarcab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick grasshopers.

2. Do not hurt dolphins.

3. Never talk about bats.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Always stare at clouds.