Ranlargjon Jamlarpnurl is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, dishonourable squirrel.

Ranlargjon Jamlarpnurl created water six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranlargjon Jamlarpnurl, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ranlargjon Jamlarpnurl, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Ranlargjon Jamlarpnurl's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Ranlargjon Jamlarpnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

4. Hide if nine frogs approach from the west.

5. Never look in ponds.