Gessgovyok is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, vain pigeon.

Gessgovyok created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessgovyok, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gessgovyok, it will boil you in a big pot.

Gessgovyok's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gessgovyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of sheep.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

4. Shrews are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about gravity.