Hascimsin is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, ill-tempered wombat.

Hascimsin created an electron six million years ago.

If you believe in Hascimsin, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hascimsin, it will make you grow a tail.

Hascimsin's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Hascimsin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. You must pray to Hascimsin four times a day.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Run away from orange seals, for they are unholy.