Gatlatcat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, slow aardvark.

Gatlatcat created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatlatcat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gatlatcat, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gatlatcat's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Gatlatcat's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Hide if four voles approach from the east.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.