Jipyogjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, strong seal.

Jipyogjarn created Mount Everest nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jipyogjarn, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jipyogjarn, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Jipyogjarn's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Jipyogjarn's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lemons.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Erect four tin sculptures of Jipyogjarn on top of important buildings.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Worship no other gods but Jipyogjarn.