Bapfaskem is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, unfair horse.

Bapfaskem created gold two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapfaskem, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bapfaskem, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bapfaskem's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bapfaskem's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Hide from magenta foxes for they are unholy.

3. Never paint your back purple.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. You must love Bapfaskem.