Yimhived is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, bad-tempered troll.

Yimhived created humanity seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yimhived, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yimhived, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Yimhived's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Yimhived's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never mention tapirs.