Sanartben is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, idiotic snail.

Sanartben created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sanartben, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sanartben, he will be very sad.

Sanartben's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Sanartben's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sanartben.

2. Never talk about goats.

3. Do not wear cyan clothing.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.