Barnbifnig is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, proud spider.

Barnbifnig created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnbifnig, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Barnbifnig, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Barnbifnig's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Barnbifnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

3. Run away if eight monkeys approach from the east.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always look after injured bats.