Kombuswik is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, benevolent hydra.

Kombuswik created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kombuswik, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kombuswik, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Kombuswik's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Kombuswik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not wear orange clothing.

4. Retreat if three seals approach from the east.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.