Wapmatjop is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, emotional jellyfish.

Wapmatjop created the cosmos six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapmatjop, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wapmatjop, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Wapmatjop's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Wapmatjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face yellow.

2. Hide from gray tortoises for they are unholy.

3. Hide if five sheep approach from the west.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not drink water in blue rooms.