Quafteenmap is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, all-powerful gorilla.

Quafteenmap created the Sol system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafteenmap, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quafteenmap, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Quafteenmap's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Quafteenmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Quafteenmap.