Queeggubpad is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, vain mole.

Queeggubpad created the world twelve years ago.

If you believe in Queeggubpad, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Queeggubpad, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Queeggubpad's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Queeggubpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Run away if three doves approach from the south.

5. Never write about stars.