Dinflanquart is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, narcissistic goblin.

Dinflanquart created Africa nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dinflanquart, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dinflanquart, he will turn you into a slug.

Dinflanquart's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Dinflanquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. You must love Dinflanquart.

4. Put Dinflanquart first in all things.

5. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.