Ortgepmad is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, blissful capybara.

Ortgepmad created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortgepmad, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ortgepmad, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ortgepmad's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Ortgepmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of aardvarks.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always wear magenta.