Arpdotkam is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, clever rat.

Arpdotkam created snails three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arpdotkam, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Arpdotkam, it will boil you in a big pot.

Arpdotkam's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Arpdotkam's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never think about amino acids.