Flambonktif is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, kind horse.

Flambonktif created the Sombrero Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flambonktif, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flambonktif, she will torture you forever.

Flambonktif's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Flambonktif's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink turtles, for they are unholy.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Retreat if nine doves approach from the east.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Never think about cell theory.