Gutwegdid is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, all-powerful fly.

Gutwegdid created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gutwegdid, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gutwegdid, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gutwegdid's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Gutwegdid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

3. Do not hurt monkeys.

4. You must pray to Gutwegdid seven times a day.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.