Sabsasfem is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, blissful squid.

Sabsasfem created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sabsasfem, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sabsasfem, she will laugh at you.

Sabsasfem's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Sabsasfem's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.