Damsawpop is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, egotistical centaur.

Damsawpop created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Damsawpop, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Damsawpop, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Damsawpop's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Damsawpop's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Damsawpop loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.