Timgepsathun Yartfabrildid is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, confident narwhal.

Timgepsathun Yartfabrildid created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timgepsathun Yartfabrildid, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Timgepsathun Yartfabrildid, it will turn you into a dog.

Timgepsathun Yartfabrildid's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Timgepsathun Yartfabrildid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not covet oxen.