Bessxemkin is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, dishonest badger.

Bessxemkin created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessxemkin, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bessxemkin, he will turn you into a sheep.

Bessxemkin's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Bessxemkin's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always help sick grasshopers.

3. Hide from yellow gulls for they are unholy.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never eat bark.