Tikmil is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, stupid dryad.

Tikmil created the world six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikmil, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tikmil, he will turn you into a rock.

Tikmil's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Tikmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Always treat frogs with great respect.

3. You must pray to Tikmil three times a day.

4. Never eat lentils.

5. Do not skip in public.