Faswipyim Stafnelqueeg Donsomsug is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, conceited crocodile.

Faswipyim Stafnelqueeg Donsomsug created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Faswipyim Stafnelqueeg Donsomsug, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Faswipyim Stafnelqueeg Donsomsug, he will turn you into a goat.

Faswipyim Stafnelqueeg Donsomsug's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Faswipyim Stafnelqueeg Donsomsug's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Faswipyim Stafnelqueeg Donsomsug.

5. You must pray to Faswipyim Stafnelqueeg Donsomsug eight times a day.