Yimbiffen is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, omnipotent bear.

Yimbiffen created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimbiffen, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yimbiffen, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yimbiffen's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Yimbiffen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to rats while wearing black skirts.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not cook food in pots.