Gunbinfot is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humorless coyote.

Gunbinfot created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunbinfot, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gunbinfot, it will turn you into a mole.

Gunbinfot's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gunbinfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.