Kanpogrigzan is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, caring hare.

Kanpogrigzan created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanpogrigzan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kanpogrigzan, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Kanpogrigzan's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Kanpogrigzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Hide from indigo sharks for they are unholy.

4. Do not eat carrots.

5. Never eat strawberries.