Bitnarlsafwan is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, impressive hippopotamus.

Bitnarlsafwan created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitnarlsafwan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bitnarlsafwan, he will throw large rocks at you.

Bitnarlsafwan's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Bitnarlsafwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Bitnarlsafwan must be the most important thing in your life.