Dussyartjat is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, self-confident hamster.

Dussyartjat created the Tadpole Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dussyartjat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dussyartjat, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dussyartjat's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Dussyartjat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

3. Always look after injured eagles.

4. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not eat beans.