Begcimfub Ominstighapcid is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, selfish seal.

Begcimfub Ominstighapcid created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begcimfub Ominstighapcid, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Begcimfub Ominstighapcid, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Begcimfub Ominstighapcid's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Begcimfub Ominstighapcid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Never hurt frogs.

3. You must love Begcimfub Ominstighapcid.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.