Sitwegxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, generous porpoise.

Sitwegxuck created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitwegxuck, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sitwegxuck, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Sitwegxuck's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Sitwegxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Do not commit murder.