Begruttgen is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unjust slug.

Begruttgen created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Begruttgen, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Begruttgen, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Begruttgen's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Begruttgen's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. You must pray to Begruttgen five times a day.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think about gravity.